Susannah Conway: Making Time for What Matters (PHOTOS)

Today's post is the seventh, and last (for the moment), in my guest post series: Making Time for What Matters. Be sure to read the pieces by Julie Daley, Tiffany Moore, Rachel Cole, Rachelle Mee-Chapman, Emily McKhann, and Peter Deitz too!

Susannah Conway is a photographer, writer and the creator of the Unravelling e-courses. A Polaroid addict and very proud aunt, her first book, This I Know: Notes on Unraveling the Heart (Globe Pequot Press), launches in June 2012. Co-author of Instant Love: How to Make Magic and Memories with Polaroids (Chronicle Books, 2012), she helps women reconnect to their true selves, using photography as the key to open the door. You can read more about her shenanigans at SusannahConway.com, and follow her on Twitter at @SusannahConway

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How do you make time for what matters?

 

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Julie Daley: Making Time for What Matters

Today's post is the sixth in my guest post series: Making Time for What Matters. Be sure to read the pieces by Tiffany Moore, Rachel Cole, Rachelle Mee-Chapman, Emily McKhann, and Peter Deitz too!

Julie Daley is a coach, teacher, writer, and healer. Since 2003, she has led hundreds of people from all walks of life to take an inward journey of the creative heart, the source within each of us that guides us to answers, healing, and personal evolution. Her own journey began in 2001, when she realized that her 17-year career as a systems analyst, and her new Computer Science and Design degree from Stanford could not distract what wanted to come forth in her. Two deeply traumatic experiences called her to listen to a stirring intuitive voice.  As she followed this voice, she left her career, and became a certified Creativity in Business teacher, a course from Stanford Graduate School of Business, and received coaching certification from The Coaches Training Institute and the International Federation of Coaches. You can learn more about Julie at www.unabashedlyfemale.com and follow her on Twitter at @JulieDaley. If you live in the Bay Area, Julie will be teaching The Art of Being Unabashedly Female at Teahouse Studio October 6-November 10.

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Writing this post has been an illuminating process. From the outside, it seems like a fairly straightforward idea…how I make time for what matters. But, as I sat with the question of what really matters to me, I realized, over time, that what matters isn’t anything I do, it is who I am being, and how I relate to life when I do whatever it is I do.

Below are qualities of being that bring me peace and a resonance with life as it unfolds.

Simple – The busier life gets, the more my soul yearns for simple: less stuff in my life and being with things in a conscious way. When I feel the word "simple" my body relaxes, my breath deepens, my heart opens.

Connected – I’ve spent much of my life as an introvert – perhaps by design, but also by conditioning. What matters to me now is how I am relating to life itself, whether it be family or friends, work colleagues, or the whole of life.


Receiving – Becoming more open and vulnerable has been one of the most challenging (and rewarding) shifts in my way of being in the world. As Hilary Hart writes, “Asking for help is not a solution. It is a state of being.”

Creatively Expressed – There is a channel of creativity that flows directly through each and every one of us. When I’ve expressed what wants to be expressed, I feel peace; when I block it, I feel frustrated, stuck, and sometimes feel a kind of depression. This expression comes through me in many forms: coaching clients, dancing, photography, writing prose and poetry, business, and being with friends and family.

Healthy – This is a broad, broad topic, as it speaks to health of body, mind, and soul. I tend to have a strong voice in my personality that loves to eat sweets, drink strong coffee, and be somewhat sloth-like. What I’ve discovered, though, is that good health feels much more quiet and satisfied than giving in to any craving ever could. This one is a challenge to live all the time, for sure.

Fiery – Much as I’ve tried to deny it, I have a fiery side, and the more I get in touch with it, the more whole and alive I feel. Some might call it passion. For me, it shows up most when I’m dancing, teaching and making love.

Real – I am discovering what this really means. To love, and to be loved, is probably the hardest part of being real. Being real doesn't mean just dumping my stuff on others; instead, it really begins with being true to myself - telling myself the truth, then living that truth. Yet it's the only way to integrity as a human being, and for me, this is real love for self.

In my experience, I've noticed that when I am being these qualities, life seems to shift and change to bring experiences that ripen me. I become more rich and full. I have less desire to have the big hit of highs, and am discovering that my life is filled with what matters most.

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How do you make time for what matters?

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Tiffany Moore: Making Time for What Matters

Today's post is the fifth in my guest post series: Making Time for What Matters. Be sure to read the pieces by Rachel Cole, Rachelle Mee-Chapman, Emily McKhann, and Peter Deitz too!

Tiffany Moore is a coach, artist, change agent and magic maker who lives in the Bay Area and believes that everyone can live their happiest, most sparkly life, starting now. This year, Tiffany realized one of her dreams when she co-founded Teahouse Studio, a creative workshop space in Berkeley. You can connect with her through website, Facebook and Twitter.

I hear it from nearly everyone I know: If only I had more time, I could...

You get to fill in the blanks:

• travel more 
• eat better
• exercise
• finally start {that hobby} that I've always been dreaming of
• go back to school
• start my own business

If only I had more time.

The truth is that there is only a finite amount of time that exists in the world. Each day has 24 hours. Each hour has 60 minutes. That's not going to change.

Let's revisit that list above. All of the things listed are important. They all touch on dreams, big dreams, dreams that get swept under the rug of mundane everyday life.

“But I don't have a choice,” you might say - I have to work/pay the bills/take care of the kids/do chores...

Yes, you have to do that. You're right. Life happens.

Newsflash: you still get to choose and you still get to do what matters.

How? Here are three steps to really clearing out your schedule and making time for what matters:

1. Get really clear on what matters to you.

What are those scary things you're avoiding? What dreams do you have that you've been quieting for years? What is something that seems so crazy that it thrills you and terrifies you at the same time? These are pretty good clues about what matters.

2. Start small

In the beginning of trying to carve out time, starting small is key. What can you spend 10 minutes a day on? Start there, and see how it feels. After a week, you will already have spent an hour working towards your goal.

3. Turn off the TV. Or internet. Or whatever your distraction-of-choice may be

We have become a culture of information junkies. Silence is boring. But what could happen if you were alone with your thoughts for an hour a day? What might come up if you sat with silence, or let your own mind come up with something to do? I'm not a TV nazi who thinks that people shouldn't watch anything (full disclosure: I'm currently addicted to Mad Men on Netflix), but when you sit down to watch, just be aware if you're doing it mindfully and deliberately, or if you're doing it as a way to zone out, to become distracted, to take your attention away from what *really* matters.

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Rachel Cole: Making Time for What Matters (VIDEO)

Today's post is the fourth in my guest post series: Making Time for What Matters. Be sure to read the pieces by Rachelle Mee-Chapman, Emily McKhann, and Peter Deitz too!

Rachel Cole is a fiercely loving, wise-beyond-her-years, gap-toothed life coach and creative project maven. The common ingredient in all of Rachel’s varied endeavors is a passion for inspiring people to craft well-fed, compassionate, and connected lives. Her driving question for all of us is “What are you TRULY hungry for?” Rachel can be found creating and coaching from her kitchen table in Oakland, California. You can learn more about Rachel at rachelwcole.com, follow her on Twitter at @rachelwcole, and join her Facebook Page at FeedYourLife.

 

Making Time for What Matters with Rachel W Cole from Rachel W Cole on Vimeo.

• The Fulfillment Pyramid

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Create and Connect: 100 Letters for the Last 100 Days of 2011

In my September 11th post, Last 100 Days of 2011: How Will You Make Time for What Really Matters?, I asked:

Is there something you can commit to doing every day for those 100 days that would bring you, and the people around you joy?

Have you chosen something?

I enjoyed writing a letter during the 40 days leading up to my 40th birthday so much that I've decided to do it again for the last 100 days of 2011 (September 23-December 31).  This time, I'm going to create the letter, or card, as well as write it.  I like to paint and collage blank cards and postcards, like these:

During my 40th birthday letter writing, I wrote to people about how they had made a positive impact on my life.  For this experiment, I can write about whatever I want, and to whomever I want.

I'd love to hear how you're going to make time for what matters during the last 100 days of 2011. If you're afraid to commit to doing something daily because you might stop in the middle, don't sweat it. Have fun with the process, or as a fortune cookie I opened recently said, "No man is a failure who is enjoying life."

All images are by me (:

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Rachelle Mee-Chapman: Making Time for What Matters

Today's post is the third in my guest post series: Making Time for What Matters.  Be sure to read the pieces by Emily McKhann and Peter Deitz too!

Rachelle Mee-Chapman is a classically trained theologian with a rebellious soul. Formerly ordained as an evangelical minister, this religious misfit now helps people create right-fit spiritual practices regardless of their creed (or a lack thereof!) Learn more about her approach to customized soulcare at Magpie Girl: care for creative souls. You can follow her on Twitter at @magpiegirl

In my urban setting, it does not make financial sense to plant a vegetable garden. Not one whit.

The organic seeds and starts cost more than what I save by buying less produce. The four jars of beans I managed to put up will be gone before winter even starts. And the $12 worth of seed potatoes I bought last spring made just one batch of potato salad this fall.

So why do I do it?

Because my 12 year old made that potato salad and the look of pride on her face was fan-freaking-tastic, that’s why.

Because every day at 3pm when I feel like I’m getting nowhere with my career, I can go into the backyard and see, with my own eyes, that things in my life are, in fact, growing.

Because watering from the rain-catch barrel makes me feel virtuous. 

Because the puppy digs gleefully in the compost pile while I weed the raised beds.  

Because the 21 year old’s room smells like basil and tomatoes as the vines creep though his window.

Because every year, in just-spring, my youngest daughter ties a ribbon to our first fruits, and we are filled with gratitude.

You can make time for what matters most. Not what makes the most financial sense. Or what is most time-efficient. Or what seems logical. But what matters.

Listen, what I want to tell you is this.  Creating something beautiful rarely makes practical sense. The hours you pour into your tomatoes will not be made up in grocery store savings. Knitting the baby present for your best friend will cost WAY more than buying a cute sweater at Target. Driving to your niece’s first day of kindergarten won’t make you three billable hours’ worth of income.

And yet, these things will bear tremendous fruits.

Pride. Gratitude. Nourishment. Joy. Beauty.

(So totally worth it.)

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How do you make time for what matters?

 

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Last 100 Days of 2011: How Will You Make Time for What Really Matters?

"As long as there's not an airplane crashing into this building, you're having a good day.  You can always take care of whatever problem you're having today."
- Richard Fern

"I don't worry about the future. Because you can make plans, but you can't predict with any certainty what is really going to happen.  So, I just let it happen. So, I don't dwell on the past, I don't worry about the future.  It sort of leaves you with the present in the middle, and so I live in the present.  Every day is a great day. Some are just greater than others." - Brian Clark

Excerpts from Beyond 9/11: Portraits of Resistance on TIME.com

Today seems like a good day to think about how to make time for what really matters. September 23-December 31 are the last 100 days of 2011. Is there something you can commit to doing every day, for those 100 days, that would bring you, and the people around you joy?

Photo of November New Mexico Sky by me.

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Emily McKhann: Making Time For What Matters

Today's post is the second in my new guest post series: Making Time for What Matters. In case you missed it, be sure to read the first post by blogger, microphilanthropy advocate, and aspiring social entrepreneur, Peter Deitz.

Emily McKhann is co-founder of TheMotherhood.com and The Motherhood Creative.  She's also the co-author of Living with the End in Mind: A Practical Checklist for Living Life to the Fullest by Embracing Your Mortality. You can follow her on Twitter at @EmilyMcKhann, and connect with her on Facebook.

I wish I could say I have this all worked out, but some days are better than others, and I’m learning as I go.  Below are four stories from along the way.   

Breakfast is funny
Being present makes for the best start to the day.

When my girls were little, we created "breakfast is funny."  Getting everyone out the door to school was becoming stressful and I didn’t like starting the day off that way. Our solution was to insert silly humor, like giving the cereals whacky names, telling old knock-knock jokes or talking in funny voices, just to get everyone laughing.

“Breakfast is funny” lives on in our family, not every day, but often enough, because when we joke around first thing in the morning, the whole day takes on a different tone.  We slow down, look each other in the eyes, really listen, and just enjoy ourselves.  And then we head off into the world with a lighter step. 

Charlie’s quilt
It’s the little things that add up.

At the holidays, the grown-ups in my family have a "white elephant" exchange.  We rummage through our homes to find stuff we want to get rid of, and give them as presents.  The “gifts” can be hilarious and every year has its surprises.  I’ll never forget the year my Uncle Charlie gave stacks of shoeshine chamois cloths he'd collected from every hotel he'd ever stayed in, hundreds of them, all folded up, in this great big bag.  And Katie, my stepsister, got them. 

A year or so after the "chamois Christmas," at Charlie’s 75^th birthday party, Katie handed him a bag, much like the one she’d received, and Charlie pulled out a quilt she'd made from the cloths.  The chamois were embellished with the names of the different hotels, written in beautiful scripts with drawings of their facades, and the colors were a mix of creams, browns, reds and light blues. It was the softest, most unique and gorgeous quilt you can imagine.

We knew that this was Charlie’s last birthday because his cancer had spread. The quilt symbolized the great big enormous hug we all were there to give him. 

The big picture
Life is short and sometimes taking a break to think about the big picture is what’s needed most.

My friends Erin and Doug took a weekend to talk about their hopes and dreams for their young daughter, Peyton.  At a friend’s house in the mountains, they sat with their laptops and created lists of the traits and values they hoped to instill in Peyton, experiences they wanted to share with her, trips they wanted to take together, and even books they wanted to read with Peyton.

When they returned, Erin told me over and over how their mountaintop conversations changed her parenting.  Peyton was only two years old then, but Erin’s relationship with her shifted in big ways afterward.  For example, Erin and Doug decided that they hoped Peyton would grow up trusting her own decision-making.  Knowing that, when Peyton asked a question, instead of answering it right away as Erin used to do, she asked, “How do you think we can figure this out?”  She had a whole new context for their relationship.

The impetus for their weekend away was that Erin had cancer, and it had metastasized.   At the time, she thought their lists would sit in a file for when Peyton was older.  Instead, for four full years, Erin referred back to their conversations often as she made the very most of her time with her daughter.

“Oh hon, I’ve so been there”
We’re making things a little better every day.

In TheMotherhood.com, the community I co-founded with Cooper Munroe, on more occasions than I can possibly count, women have shown up for each other to say exactly what was needed in the moment.  Being reminded every day that the conversations we have with our family, friends and acquaintances can make a huge difference is a gift.

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Peter Deitz: How I Make Time for What Really Matters

I'm super excited to present the first post in my new guest post series: Making Time for What Matters.  Look for posts in the coming weeks from Emily McKhann, Rachelle Mee-Chapman, Rachel Cole, Tiffany Moore, and more!

Peter Deitz is a blogger, microphilanthropy advocate, and aspiring social entrepreneur. He is currently making time for what really matters while keeping an eye out for new projects to plug into, or initiate.You can follow him on Twitter at @peterdeitz

Time management is one of the toughest skills to hone as aspiring social entrepreneurs, activists, and creative professionals. Curiosities abound as do tough choices on how and where to direct our attention. If not managed properly, our schedules can dictate our peace of mind, instead of the other way around.

At various points in the last several years, I have all but lost a handle on my schedule, resulting in zero peace of mind, and the complete failure to make time for what really matters (in my case, time with friends, meaningful work, regular sleep, creative reflection, and random hobbies).

A few moments come to mind in which I deliberately re-hinged. Below are the strategies I deployed to improve my time management skills.

The Self-Imposed Blackout Strategy - I have found that one of the quickest and most effective ways to make time is to blackout chunks of the day or week when I am devoting myself to a single task, or no tasks at all. When the goal is making time for activities outside of work, this normally takes the form of shutting down my laptop and all personal electronic devices. Sound familiar? Yes, airline protocol has something to teach us all.

The I Paid for It, So I Make Time for It Strategy - This strategy for making time may sound crass, but I have found that it can be very effective. For instance, earlier this year, I knew that I wasn’t cooking enough at home, or eating nearly enough vegetables. So I signed up for a 30 Day Nutrition Challenge. I paid upfront for a month’s worth of grocery lists, tasty recipes, and nutritional tips delivered electronically by the Living Kitchen Wellness Group throughout the month. Since I had paid for the e-course, I found that I was more inclined to go through the steps necessary to stock my kitchen and prepare the recipes. By the end of the 30 days, I had regained the habit of cooking at home, and added a few recipes to my repertoire.

The Change Everything Strategy - In the rare situations where taking control of my schedule seemed insurmountable without major life changes, I began by sketching out on paper the activities that I wanted to be making time for. In my case, I drafted a yearly and weekly schedule, and then reverse engineered the changes I would need to make in order to pursue these activities. In each case, it took several months to implement the change everything strategy. But I succeeded in making time for the big and small things that mattered to me at that moment, including something as seemingly insignificant as setting up a DIY worm composting system.

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How do you make time for what matters?

Flickr photo credit: Tuscan Kale Chips uploaded by thebittenword.com

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